I like to think. I
like to share my thoughts with the Lord and see what he thinks, too. One time I was thinking, and something hit me
(I usually get hit by thoughts – not tapped or nudged, although that does
happen sometimes, too. Actually, maybe some thoughts sneak up on me also… so
never mind). But yes, a thought hit me – what am I waiting for? What am I
waiting for???
We’re always waiting it seems! We are always waiting for
the next milestone – graduation, next vehicle, next paycheck, next sport event,
next relationship, next house, next job, next pay-raise, year, child, class,
birthday, wedding, you name it! We’re waiting for it. Sometimes the wait is simply normal, like
waiting in line at the DPS office to get a new license or waiting to have
enough money to make a down payment on something. Sometimes, waiting isn't
okay. Sometimes we wait until graduation
to start living like there’s a real world out there (speaking for students of
all ages). Sometimes we wait until the morning-of to study for a test (guilty a
hundred times over). Sometimes we wait
until the work-day is over to start enjoying the time we have. Sometimes we
wait until we are in a new relationship to start actively working on the
character flaws we know we have to wrestle with. Sometimes we wait until we have our first
child to start seeing humanity as precious and valuable.
I looked at all these elements of waiting and decided
that I don’t want to wait. I’m done waiting. I’m done waiting to take charge of
my attitude and development as a person until I’m…what, more grown? A wife? A
mother? A grandmother? When do you start making changes and growing? Yes, I
know that each of those times of my life will bring each their own lessons and
seasons of growth that I can’t experience right now. But I don’t want to go into those times
unequipped, having waited until I’m in an intimate relationship with someone to
practice far-stretched patience or profuse forgiving or self-sacrificing. I don’t
want to wait until I’m married to start taking constructive criticism seriously
and delicately. I don’t want to wait
until I have an “official job” to start doing what I love. The time is now.
I've heard that phrase over and again, too. The time is now. It never really got to me,
though, until recent thoughts hit me (hahahahaha). So here is one of my new
mantras I've been sharing with those close to me:
The life I’m living now is the life I always want to live. I’m not waiting to live how I want to live in the future.
What this means to me is not that I’m completely satisfied with where I am now but that I am completely satisfied with how I’m living my life now. How am I choosing to live life now? I’m choosing to take each day and actively
seek how I can give this life I've been given back to the One who is worth all of my life and so so so so much
more. I’m choosing to live each day in
the understanding that I have so much more to learn about life and God and
loving his world. I’m choosing to laugh
more, care more, give more, adventure more, fail more, cry more, celebrate more.
I’m simply saying that I’m not waiting until the bad
times, rough times, odd times, emotional times or whatever have passed for me
to start being better for Christ. It seems almost absolute to say I’m
completely satisfied with how I’m living my life now. It isn't though, because
my understanding is that I’m living with the knowledge that I have so much
farther to go – and that’s why it’s important not to wait. We’ll always, always
have room to be better, to grow more like Christ, to love people more. So why
wait? Why wait and fall behind? Why wait and watch the excellent life pass you
by when you can hop on to the excellent-life boat and sail through life in excellence?
Does this sound cheesy? Maybe it is. But it’s real. And it’s now. I want to be
on that excellent-life boat. I know the waters will get rough sometimes. Shoot,
I’ll even get knocked out of it every now and then. Other times, though, I’ll
see the most beautiful things on the journey. I’ll feel the winds of life
rushing along with me. I’ll see the power of God and how he is constantly in
motion. And I know deep down inside, I’d much rather be on the boat of
excellence, excellently giving my life back to the Lord for his glory alone,
than to be on the shore wishing I was.
